Monday, July 21, 2003

GATHERING SPEED
Is this really accurate? Who cares? Conservatives have stated their case for years without worrying about the facts. It's heartening to see the left doing the same. From Cb in Hoboken.

G.W. Bush's Resume

Past work experience:

I ran for congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.

With my father's help (and his name) I was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments as governor:

I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the US Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president:

I attacked and took over two countries.

I spent the surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.

I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I set the record for more campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Amer icans lost their jobs.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.(http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

I am the first president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I, with a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the Civil War

Records and References:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (my Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

I refuse to take drug tests or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and are un-available for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings that I (or VP Dick Cheney) attended rega rding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

REQUESTING TECH HELP FROM FELLOW BLOGGERS
Those of you who use Blogger.com know about the recent upgrade. My problem is that upgrade has destroyed all the toolbar java shortcuts I used to use for BlogThis as well as generating HTML code for inserting links, bold, pictures, etc. Somebody who knows java can probably figure this out in seconds and if that's you, use the link above to send me some email and let me know what to do.

When I try to use these shortcuts now, I get a Javascript alert telling me I'm "Not in Blogger Editing Mode." Urghhhhhhh...Not having these shortcuts has really taken the fun out of blogging for me.

BTW - I'm a Mac user, OSX 10.2.6, in case that's important.

Thanks much in advance for your help.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

BYE BYE MR WEINER
Slimeball talkshow host Michael Savage (aka Michael Alan Weiner) was fired for..well...hell, you know what he was fired for - being an obnoxious ass on air. Surprised? Ca'mon. I'm only surprised MSNBC noticed. Does anyone - even the employees - watch that network?

My fave moments of this little breakdown...according to one report, Mr. Weiner now claims "he thought he was off the air" when he said his comments. He thought he was off the air? How do you say bullshit in conservative? Oh, I know - CLINTON! See the clip for yourself by clicking here (props to www.gladd.org). Does it look like Mr. Weiner is off air? Or does it look like he's addressing a TV audience? Hmmmm. I especially like how his crew managed to bleep out part of the caller's comments (which mentioned another radio show) but not Weiner's reasons for termination.

On the apology front, Mr. Weiner not only performed the standards - "If my comments brought pain to anyone I certainly did not intend for this to happen and apologize for any such reaction" - he took the time to invent a new demographic for his show, adding, "I especially appeal to my many listeners in the gay community to accept my apologies for any inadvertent insults which may have occurred."

His many listeners in the gay community? It makes me wonder what Hitler would have said had he been forced to kowtow for WWII - "I especially want to apologize to my many Jewish and black friends who might have been inadvertently hurt or insulted by the actions of my subordinates."

Boo-Hoo-Hoo.

Monday, July 07, 2003

CARTMAN AT FEMINIST RALLY
I have no idea what these ladies are protesting. It might have something to do with the Masters not letting women play (my guess from the corporate targets and "Fairplay on the fairway" sign). But take a look at the yellow sign in the back. Yeah, he's being a bully, but it is funny in an Eric Cartman sort of way - Get in that kitchen and make me a turkey pot pie! And he's so smart using red on yellow, making sure his sign stands out in a field of white boards. I wonder if the guy has a girlfriend? Did he show her the sign?

Friday, July 04, 2003

THE DEATH OF PUNK ROCK

Obituary courtesy of Ticketmaster:

Sex Pistols
Trump Marina Atlantic City, NJ
Sat, 08/23/03
On Sale Sat, 07/05/03

Thanks to CB in Hoboken for the notice